The craziest 24 hours of my life (unproofed...no time)

yes yes.

not sure where the 24 hours starts and stops, but, you'll get the picture.

i had been stranded in sibiu, romania, for an extra day, since after figuring out what the best way of getting to belgrade was, i managed to go to the wrong bus station in Sibiu. (which, in eastern europe is harder than you would think because the bus station is always next to the train station, but in sibiu, the one next to the train station is for one company of busses only, the others have to use other spots dotted around the city).
it's 23:30, and i catch my bus. The driver is completely insane, and all other drivers on the road seemed to be equally crazy. interestingly, Romania has a reputation for terrible drivers, but this was the first i had seen of this phenomenon. drivers would overtake on single lane roads, into oncoming traffic, flashing the highbeams, so that oncoming drivers had to pull half onto the should, and drivers in front the same, allowing for a sketchy middle lane created directly on top of the center divide. i only saw one car crash, and was actually impressed that no-one seemed to be hurt.
it's 5am. i get off the coach in Timisoara, Romania, and head next door from the autogara to the gara. (because they are next to each other, like a sensible town) and hope that the one train allocated for the day is doing ok. The train seems to be either running late, or was scheduled later than expected. i wait for 3 hours (instead of the expected 1), listening to music, taking pictures, and wandering around. i witness a sunrise without really sleeping at all on the bus. i wait on line 5, and a train pulls in at 8am. i try to get on but someone tells me that this train isn't moving! i panic, feeling like the train must have been re-assigned a new line, i run to the departures board (plecare) and see that it is indeed on line 5. i run straight back out to the line 5 and ask about Belgrade, someone tells me that the last half of the train will go to belgrade. weird. i get on a carriage and make sure that it will go to Belgrade. ok. panic over. there is only one train a day from Timisoara to Belgrade, and Timisoara has not much of interest, and there are NO youth hostels in town at all. the trip to the Romanian boarder is uneventful. the train is dirty and gross, smells terrible etc. this is all to be expected. the Romanian boarder patrol people look at my passport and the train leaves within 10 minutes. the train then stops again at the serbian boarder.
Much more depressing and scary looking. the people look more angry. there are several sets of guards and officials. one for passports, one for tickets and another for passports. one guy demanded to see my passport very impatiently, looks it over and just as it touched myt hand drops it onto the floor as we walked out the door, not apologizing, not attempting to pick it up...
after what felt like an hour, with a semi-thorough inspection or the undercarriage by two gun toting guards, we are waved onwards and the real fun starts.
After five minutes a (Serbian) inspector comes by to check my ticket, and harasses me for having my feet on the opposite seat. not nice at all like the Romanian officials.
After just fifteen minutes, three guys start running up and down my carriage, shouting to each other, and banging on things. after a couple more minutes of this i see one of them take out a crow bar and start leveraging the ceiling panel in the halfway, and the nails come out, the panel pivots and a huge bag of white powder falls on the ground.
"holy sh_t"
more panels open, more and more drugs come out of the ceiling. I'm trying not to make eye contact with anyone doing the impromptu carpentry. while this i going on, i am listening to music, and staring out the window, trying to think about something else. The next thing i know, and angry ticket inspector is telling me to get my feet off the opposite chair. i did it again, and this time he wants me to pay a fine. i try to weasel out of it, telling him i have no Euros, telling him i have no Dinars (both true), and eventually he gets someone from another car to change my 50 lei (Romanian) to smaller notes so that i can pay him 15lei (which ends up being cheaper than the 5 Euro he wanted in the first place). The comedy of the situation only hits me after her leaves. I was getting a ticket for having my shoes on the dirtiest train seat i've ever seen, while we can both see many KILOGRAMS of drugs being taken from the architecture of the train, with hammers and crow-bars!
Evidently corruption is rife in Serbia.
The train makes a couple stops, small teams of people load things onto and off-of the last carriage (mine) and it seems everyone on the train saw what i saw, but everyone is so nonchalant that it must be a commonplace occurrence.

Still no sleep.
I realize that the time zone must have changed because we are nowhere near Belgrade at 10:50, our estimated arrival time. By about noon i was off the train, honestly tired and scared. I have had no sleep in 24 hours. I've just been poked and prodded by boarder control, I've escaped with my life after seeing a large scale drugs trafficking operation, i have no local money, i don't speak the language, i can't read or attempt to pronounce the characters on the alphabet, i have no idea where the nearest hostel is, and definitely no reservation. i walk past the hostel opposite the train station, which must be terrible and rat infested and wander around a bit. i spot a HI sticker and see if there is any room. hostel is clean and the guy behind the desk is nice, speaks great English, and is appropriately sketchy. the place is super new, 2 weeks old i'm told, is rather pricey for a hostel, but i just want some security, so take it. they give me maps and stuff.

I feel good after a coffee and some food. i use the computers there to find a cheaper hostel, and run around town a little. i bump into a girl i met at a hostel in romania, and we talk a little, i find out she followed my advice and stayed with the family in maramures i had recommended. i get some beer and drink it fast at the hostel before taking a nap. after an hour or so, i am woken by some french guys who wil be sleeping in the room. we talk, and agree to meet up at Underground, a club set into the ground. the leave first, i shower and change into whatever i hadn't handed over to the free landry service, which leaves me looking a little strange. i head out and get to the bar at 10:30. no-one is there. the place is amazing, but empty. the french guys are not here (though they set out before me). i havea drink or two, and wait for about half and hour for them. seems nothing is going to happen, i talk to the staff and they say there was a big party her last night (friday night) and that they expect tonight be be quiet. they recommend i go across the river to a boat. i'm a little hesitant, still feeling tired, but walk across anyway. i see a party on a boat, poppy music playing, and decide i could get into that if needs be. i get off the bridge and a car pulls.
they shout at me in serbian.
i go over to the car and ask what the hell they said.
"what are you doing todight?"
"oh, i dunno, wandering around"
"do you know where plastic is?"
"no, but i've heard of it" (which is true)

they offer me a ride to plastic if we can find out where it is.
The people in the care are really nice, warm folks.
Marija is driving, next to her is Boris. In the back seat with me are Ivana and Ken.
they ask me how i feel about magic mushrooms. i said they are cool. they said they have been eating mushrooms all day.
We ask about plastic and eventiually find it. There are tons of boats on the river, rafts really. we walk up and down, check each one out and trying to find plastic. we find it, realize it is empty so far (it's about midnight). we try to find another place to drink while plastic fills up and end up just going to plastic anyway. A beer magically appears in front of me (bought by Boris, who is obviously gay and obviously hitting on me). the mood is a little standard, marina-esque. everyone is dressed up fancy, and totally gorgeous.

We leave after half and hour, and try to find the car. no-one has any idea where it is. we talk, hang out, marija does her thing organizing, talking to people, and finding things out. i think more mushrooms. we come back and marija is gone. we call her and find she is playing soccer with some kids up the road. we find her, she remembers where she put the car and we are on our way. the music blasts, and we all sing. through some gate, pay a toll, and over a bridge. we are now on ada island, and are headed into gypsy territory. We find the place, try to park the car, and have trouble, we argue with a gypsy boy who is trying to organize the parking. marija wants to park in the skatepark, the boy wants her to park by this lamppost in the ditch. We argue, and she parks in the ditch. we got to this floating restaurant, with musicians playing traditional gypsy songs and we manage to get a table. the raft in halfway sinking into the river, and our end is the one that is the lowest. Marija tries to get a liter of Rakia, but everyone vetos saying that is way too much as we are all a bit drunk already. instead we get a half litre, and some beers, and a huge plate of food. Sausages and bread. wonderful. we drink, eat and the music is amazing.

At some point around here, i notice that the gorgeous Ivana has a strange lump on her back by one of her shoulderblades. i hadn't noticed till now, but it's quite distinct. She is tall, has bleached blonde hair, with a really cool cut which reminds me of the the way mine used to be. Long on one side and shaved on the other. It looks really good, and i am very envious. I shall ask her about how i might get one just like it.
A moment to describe the others in this posse. Marija is naturally blonde, a little shorter, looks a little Norwegian and well build, she has a rocker-ish vibe about her, and speaks poor English, but with a great accent and swears a lot.
Boris is very San Francisco Gay, wearing a wife-beater, has a poor complexion, and big chest. Black hair.
Ken is either black or middle eastern, i really couldn't tell. He had some good facial hair including a pointy beard. He was shorter and a little more mellow, and calm.

After the booze is gone, and everyone is all messed up, the music gets louder, we dance a little, shout and sing, and get out of there. i am convinced the sky is lightening, and the sun is about to come up. they tell me it's not happening. it's 4am.

We pile out and into the car, watching 4 gypsy guys fight over one girl, argue rather. this time the car is easy to find, as it was such a mission to park the damn thing. more singing to the cassette. Manu Chao was a pivotal moment, when everyone was vying to get their heads out the windows and sunroof. we go to the beach. This is a man-made beach on the River Sava, with bars lining one side. We wander onto the promenade, the sun is most definitely coming up. This is the second sunrise I've seen in as many days. To my utter amazement i see people on the beach, drinking and having fun like it's the middle of the day. not many mind, but a few. Increasing the amazement "you have got to be f_cking kidding me", there are people swimming! it's at least 4:30 in the morning. We go up to them and i tell them they are crazy. they reply "this is serbia, there is no such thing as crazy!" and i have nothing left to say.
I feel the water and am totally shocked. the water is a lot warmer than the air, and i'm wearing only a t-shirt. I immediately strip to my boxers and jump in. the water is amazing. like bath water, and it is insanely soothing. From my perspective at the water's surface, i see loads of steam rising from the water, lit by the now definitely risen sun. I can't believe it.

Who am i, where am i, what did i do to get here? 24 hours ago i was getting off the bus in Romania. and realizing i have 3 hours to wait for my 4 hour train ride to serbia. Since then so much has happened, so much has changed.

I get a little cold and get out. the air is frigid, i put my clothes back on a try to get warm. it's not really working. Ivana manages to have someone at the bar to get me a towel (something they do *all* the time). This helps, but not too much, i'm just too damn skinny, when it comes down to it.
A beer materializes in front of me. We hang for a while, and Ken goes for a swim. As i shiver, we drink beer.
it's around 5:30am. We go to the car, and beers in hand, more singing, more heads out of winds. marija drives the complete wrong directions, inteding to get us lost, and finds an industrial estate, we drive through this, amazed at the factories and towers, and chimneys. we try to get out and find a gate. Boris and i get out and try to open the motorized gate by hand. everyone in the car is laughing like hell. Apparently my job was to stand on this red metal plate to somehow disengage the setup and boris can then push the gate back. this occurs and we drive on. I'm still really cold, but managing. We drive somewhere and drop boris off, we then drive through belgrade to the other side, to marija's house. As we walk up i realise it's one of the old communist era housing bloks, with "Alcatraz" written in grafitti in a couple places. I announce that i haven't slept in quite a while and immediately fall asleep on the couch. it was about 6:30am. They stayed up a little longer listening to music, and hanging out, right next to my sleeping body, i don't remember anything, and was definitly aslep, but they said that my feet were moving to the music. I wake up to loud music (everyone fell asleep with the music on). i get up, turn it off, and fall back asleep. The next morning, everyone is hungover, but i feel great. We have a breakfast of ham, cucumber, onion and tomato salad, soft cheese and bread. Typical fare for most of eastern europe i'm learning. OH, and really, realy spicy peppers, which were really amazing. Biting tiny chunks off and savouring the burn really set up up. Ivana and Ken had their bags packed, as they were going off to Bosnia this afternoon (morning was really about 1pm), to visit Ivana's parents.

We go into town, see them off and i manage to get back to the hostel. I am greeted by the owner/manager handing me a beer. it's 2pm and he has 3 or four 2litre bottles of his favourite Montenegrin beer.